


Cracks

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Possessiveness, Reflection, Short, Unrequited Love, self-indulgent use of metaphor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: She opened the door and their world began to break, like an egg cracked and bleeding yellow yolk.
Relationships: Fujioka Haruhi/Hitachiin Hikaru, Hitachiin Hikaru/Hitachiin Kaoru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Cracks

She opened the door and their world began to break, like an egg cracked and bleeding yellow yolk. Kaoru didn’t notice until it was too late – until the space between the shells was left filled with empty distance and Hikaru, for the first time in their lives, was watching someone else more closely than himself.

Kaoru liked her at first, the way she made them feel they were more than just each other’s reflections. But now the mirror’s been shattered and through the window that’s been built, Kaoru watches Hikaru watch her.

He liked Haruhi... he really did, before it was obvious that Hikaru _liked_ her. Before his eyes began flitting in her direction as they put on their act and Kaoru was left chasing his brother’s lips, clutching the collar of his blazer, trying not to miss. He sees the way Hikaru looks at her, teases her; how he crushes the remaining fragments of the world that had belonged to them beneath his own feet as he chases her.

And something dark and twisted and thorny grows from inside Kaoru’s gut, coiling around his lungs until he can’t breathe even though his mouth is open and he’s swallowing air. Kaoru thinks of Hikaru at the inn, wanting to have Haruhi all to himself. Angry. Jealous. And he wonders if in this way, too, they’re not so different after all. That Haruhi was wrong.

Because that’s just how Kaoru feels about Hikaru now, laying at his side at an hour long past midnight, staring at the ceiling with his heart in his throat while sleet throws itself against the windowpanes as if it wants to shatter glass.

Still, Hikaru sleeps. His breaths are soft and steady. Warm. He’s close but not close enough, mouth parted to let hot puffs of air tickle Kaoru’s cheek. The heat of his body is too much; it collects under the covers so that Kaoru thinks he might start to sweat. But their skin does not brush, and he’s also starting to feel certain it’ll be months instead of years until they stop sharing this bed.

Kaoru’s running out of time. They’re running out of time.

And still, Hikaru sleeps, limbs splayed and drool glistening at the corners of his lips. His lashes flutter though he doesn't stir - Kaoru knows he’s living dreams just as much as he knows they’re not dreams of him.

And he needs Hikaru to wake, to see _him -_ only him... the way they had promised each other things would always be.

For a brief moment that lasts too long, Kaoru imagines marking Hikaru; making it so that even if he watches others through these new cracks crumbling their world, they won’t watch him back. Oh, Kaoru _could_ – could let his hands wander to trace the planes of Hikaru’s naked body; could follow the curve of Hikaru’s hip while pressing lips against the hollow of his throat, tasting skin to colour it red.

But he won't. Perhaps Kaoru does want Haruhi to want Hikaru just as badly as he needs her not to, because the pain of Hikaru’s heartbreak would hurt more than his own. So Kaoru stays awake, listening to the sounds of sleet and Hikaru’s steady breaths, watching the ceiling blur as his eyes fill with tears he refuses to cry. He’s okay with this, Kaoru tells himself, okay with anything for Hikaru's sake.

And yet as he keeps tossing and turning and turning and tossing like the snapped tree-branches banging against their bedroom walls, Kaoru wonders if Haruhi was right. That in some ways, he’s impossibly different from Hikaru, after all.


End file.
